What’s That…? Could It Be? Why, It’s…

The weather is cool! The air is crisp! This is the time of year when I feel rejuvenated and alive, frolicsome, even… like a spastic little filly in a field of rolling laundry. That “warmth” and “sunshine” crap is for the birds. The Skinny Minnie’s of the world can have Spring and definitely Summer. The only thing hot weather is good for, in my book, is making avocadoes. And… That’s it. Crawfish maybe? But other than that, all it’s good for is making me want to curl up on the kitchen floor and rock while complaining about everything in the universe and wait until the outdoor thermometer hits <72 degrees. Especially obtrusive here in the South, the very air itself feels like it’s actively trying to strangle me. “Why do I even live here?” is a thought I have with shocking regularity. Heat makes me want to do no things. Except murder, which is no good for anybody.

But that has all changed! At least for now, Fall is here!

TEA Pumpkin Spice eCard
A friend posted this on my Facebook page, and it’s true- that white girl is me

So, with the French doors open wide, coffee in hand and yoga pants snuggly in place, I’m ready to spend more time blogging about my list of stuff I need to get done than I actually devote to the tasks listed!

I used to spend more time crouched over my keyboard, determined to be Internet Famous for at least a hot minute- before launching my still-in-the-works book and rocketing off into Never Never (Clean House Again) Land- but have since decided ain’t nobody got time for that. Besides, when I realistically thought about it, I did think it would be rather like Suburban Snapshots’ experience with the attention of the Interwebs: Cool, yeah, but pretty much equally a pain in the ass surrounded by anonymous buttholes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to be legit countdown-to-the-breakdown famous one day for channeling my unceasing inner creativity into words for people’s consumption, but my cutesy little online outlet ain’t gonna git ‘er done. I still love TEA, and will continue to use it to feel super special, but it’s the book(s) that are going to do the thing.

That is something else I’ve been making more progress in, what with the free high courtesy of the temps below Hell Fire degrees, but I digress. After Googling “belly button as adult” and learning everything anyone never cared to learn about the navel (I suddenly had an intense urge to know what it’s connected to on the inside of an adult torso, which is nothing, I think), I made up my mind to come here, post my list (super dense because The Hubs will be home in just two sleeps!), and get to work. I heard it’s supposed to warm up later today, and I don’t want to get caught Cinderella-style with one shoe on and pumpkin all over the place.

To the list!

  • Coffee
  • Useless and unnecessary Googling
  • Blog
  • Laundry
  • Folding
  • Put away-ing
  • Unload dishwasher
  • Reload dishwasher
  • Clean sink
  • Pick up kitchen
  • Pick up living room
  • Dust
  • Pick up master bathroom
  • Make list for unsuspecting loin fruit upon return from school

Tomorrow I’m going to do floors. I dislike doing floors. But alas, floors must be done. Tuesdays always strike me as the best time for this, so that is the rationalization I’m using to convince myself that that is why I’m not doing them today.

Now run! Outside! Enjoy the cool weather! Before it gets away!


This Is Why Tigers Eat Their Young

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that growing up, I’d be able to pay for the therapy I clearly need. And yet, now, I want to wear a t-shirt emblazoned with it.

If you’ll remember from a post last week, here lately I’ve been at the end of my rope with the fruit of my loins, and one ill-timed eye roll away from tying it into a noose and slipping it over my head. After writing about it and linking to the Attachment Parenting website, I left the tab open on my computer. This weekend, while babysitting a friend’s children, I had a moment to actually read some stuff on the AP blogs. It reminded me of why I chose the AP path in the first place, and was really quite refreshing.

The post I especially liked was one with straight-forward tips to get your kids to help out around the house without resorting to threats of violence or promises of treats- two things it seems like I do exclusively as of late. It’s a dilemma I posted on my Facebook mommy groups about in search of advice, but the suggestion was nearly always to use a reward chart. Not a bad one, per se, but I started Da Beeb on charts when she was four, and over the years neither one of us would stick to them for long. And, as more and more people and sources seem to lament, it doesn’t really appear to foster a sense of duty or a desire to do one’s fair share (although there are exceptions, such as with developmentally challenged children). This has been our experience with them. It seems to embed the desire for gold stars or princess stickers or check marks or money (the latter something that I regularly get asked for now for the simplest thing, like picking up her shoes in the living room… WTF?) It breeds the mentality early on of being reward driven rather than result driven. As an adult, ain’t nobody tryin’ to give me gold stars for doing laundry and brushing my hair. I have to do what I have to do because I value having a car to drive and clean drawers to wear and not being taken for a homeless person. And because I don’t want to go to jail. But mostly because there are just things in life that need to get done.

The post that really got me thinking on that (the effects of reward charts, not imprisonment) was one by Evolutionary Parenting that they shared on their Facebook page. I’d never really thought about reward charts in that way, but once reading it, it really made sense. In our house growing up, you did your chores because if you didn’t, you had to answer to the Authority (which often held a belt). Period. Sure, there were some lectures about not living like a pig, or contributing to the family, but it was mostly about staying out of trouble and escaping punishment. As a result, both my brother and I are adults who are extremely externally motivated. If we don’t want to do it, we don’t want to do it (which, really, is most people), but it seems extra hard for either of us to get things we need to done, and sometimes we reap the consequences. To this day, the best way for me to accomplish anything is to hear that clock a’ticking until Dad’s Home. Of course, “Dad” might be my husband coming in from offshore, or guests coming over, etc, etc, but the sentiment is the same. There is a situation fast approaching at which point bad (or just unpleasant) things will happen if XYZ isn’t finished. I basically spend my life going from 0 to 60 in the half hour before something simply must be completed (which is an absolutely unfortunate way for a writer to be!). I’m not proud of it, but I realize this about myself. Although, much like depression, self awareness is not always enough to pull oneself through.

But I digress. My point is that I do not want that sort of headache for my kid. I want her to work through life- because it is just that, work- to the best of her ability, and not get into her own way as I often do. I think the first step to that is to teach her to be internally motivated to achieve things. Which is kind of like me trying to teach her Mandarin (if it hasn’t been addressed on Ni Hao Kai Lan, I know nothing of it). I’m totally lost.

Finding posts like the afore mentioned AP one make me feel better, and give me a bit of gentle direction that I can hopefully turn into positive results in my own household. It’s going to require more work on my part (boo), I need to make more of an effort to be more patient with her and guide her rather than command her (not my strong suit, the patience). I really don’t believe that the old adage “Spare the rod, spoil the child”- which actually appears nowhere in the Bible, but that I heard incredibly often growing up- is about beating your children into submission. From my understanding, the rod is supposed to be that of a shepherd, right? And what do shepherds do with their rods (please, let’s pretend to be mature for a minute here…)? Do they hit their sheep with them when they get out of line? That wouldn’t really foster a sense of trust and protection between the herder and the herd. From what I’ve seen, shepherds usually use their rods to guide their sheep around obstacles and out of danger’s way, and to fend off danger is necessary. I feel like that’s what we should do (more of), rather than threaten to punish for a lack of strict obedience. Easier said than done to be sure, but it’s not always about doing more good, it’s sometimes just about doing less bad. But I mean, who ever heard of repressed children morphing into rebellious teenagers, right? That’s crazy talk!

Hopefully I can make a discernible difference in her now before she thinks I’m completely lame and awful. I feel that timer going, too. Maybe that will help!

Wow. Shit got deep there for a minute.


See, this is precisely why I don’t get things done until the last minute (besides the above stated personal drama): I wrote this out Sunday night in order to be prepared for today. I knew Monday would be busy and wasn’t sure if I’d get a chance to blog (I didn’t), and I wasn’t yet sure about Tuesday, so I was like ‘I know! I’ll go ahead and type Tuesday’s post out, then I’ll be prepared! Yea preparedness!’ I also thought ‘Hmm, what is true today that will still be true on Tuesday?… I know! My kid being an absolute turd.’

Then my kid has to be all wonderful and I have to change my blog post. Man, kids ruin everything.

All day Sunday while I watched the Littles, my Not-So-Little was very mature, indeed. She helped out, did things for them, didn’t whine or complain about anything. I’m always quick to praise her for helpfulness, and this weekend she earned every word. Then yesterday- despite whining to go play rather than hold signs while we were at the annual Improving Birth rally (appropriately held on Labor Day each year, to bring awareness to birth rightsevidence based maternity care, and truly informed consent/refusal), which, really, was to be expected- she was awesome. A little whiny about being forced to go eat Mexican food (sometimes I feel the need for a maternity test), but good.

photo (2)
Baby’s first peaceful demonstration, I’m so proud

And then there was that moment. Most days she goes outside to ride her bike with the neighborhood kids (can we just take a moment to acknowledge what a blessing in everyway it is that we have the type of neighborhood and kids for this?), and comes in around supper time/dark, often dragging her feet and begging for five more minutes. She hadn’t been able to play with them all weekend, so was super excited to play last night. She came in about 10 minutes before supper was ready to ask if she could go in their backyard to play (all location changes must be preapproved), and I told her no and why. I unconsciously held my breath for the inevitable, and she responded “Ok,” and happily ran back outside. You know how it felt when you were growing up and your sibling was probably about to hit you, so you were prepared and waiting for it, and then it didn’t happen? It was kind of like that. Followed by immense relief, happiness, and a bit of apprehension. And then she was perfect for the rest of the evening. She came in on her own right before the oven timer went off, she ate her carrots and chicken without so much as a nose crinkle, and brushed her teeth without complaint.  It was magical.

It’s times like this that remind you why you don’t abandon them outside of firehouses and orphanages. And It’s great.

Hopefully it’s the sign of the end of this growth spurt’s moodiness and hormone surges. She was great this morning, too. I try not to gush too-too much to her, I don’t want her to get used to that exhausting level of praise and head patting, but it sure is nice.

No list for today. I’m watching another one of my friend’s kids today (and I’m rather excited- of all the children this friend has, the one coming over today is totally my favorite). The house looks like a tiny little war broke out, toys and socks everywhere (I’m honestly not even sure whose socks all of these are, or how exactly they got here). I’m just going to get done what I can get done and hope for the best.

Really, if all I have to do to get things to change for the better around here is write a premature blog post about it, expect one soon entitled How Much It Sucks That I Haven’t Won The Lottery & Have Yet To Magically Wake Up One Day A Size 8.

Mama Needs A Timeout

As a mother, there should never be any doubt that I love my kid with everything I have, that I believe her to be exceptional in every way and better than everyone else’s. That being said… shiiiiit.

Intelligent? Check. Beautiful? Check. Confident? Double check. Graceful? … Well, she is half me, after all. She is so smart and articulate that it’s easy to forget sometimes that she isn’t older and more mature, but then she comes across something that displeases her and it snaps you right back to “Oh yeah. You’re a kid. A little kid. A little kid who’s about to get punched in the head.” Don’t worry, I don’t do it. I just fantasize about it. And sometimes threaten it. But if you threaten something in an English accent, it sounds much nicer, so it’s cool. That’s how I get by in saying some of the otherwise socially unacceptable things I really want to say. It’s all in the delivery.

My Beeb is my favorite, and I tell her so all the time (when we finally have another one, I’ll probably differentiate by saying she’s my favorite Big and the other is my favorite Little, or something like that. We don’t need any Cain and Able drama added on around here). But DAMN she is getting on my nerves lately. I want to be a cool, good, understanding, emotionally safe, nurturing progressive parent. That’s my parental mission statement. And it was so much easier when she was little. Attachment Parenting– while we didn’t follow all of it, all the time- was wonderful when she was little. And I’ll mother the next one very similarly. But now that she’s up talking (whining) and walking around (doing the hop of frustration… if you’ve seen it, you know) and basically a small, emotionally unstable person, it is much harder to maintain a soothing tone, get past my own emotions and help her calmly weed through her own. Shut. Up. Just shut up. Why can’t we have chicken nuggets? Because I made an antibiotic-free roasted chicken with fresh rosemary and seasonal farmer’s market vegetables. Not because I hate you. If I hated you, I’d let you eat the Pink Slime chunks you so desperately crave!!! I want her to feel valued as a human being, and that she has worth, that she should feel comfortable standing up for herself and not like a second class citizen just because she’s young, but sometimes I just want to throttle the little monster.  I’m not a tyrant for asking you to pick up your socks out of the middle of the foyer. This is not your apocalypse!!!

The whining. Have I mentioned the whining? Someone, please, kill me. It literally takes her an instant to go from normal, stable child to an unrecognizable hobbit disfigured with either outrage or angst for the slightest thing. Like, the slightest. Yesterday when I was making her a sandwich, I applied the mustard in a swirling pattern onto the bread before closing it, and she lost her tiny mind because I didn’t spread it with the knife. Even after I showed her that it had squished all over the bread naturally. I’m past the point of the good ol’ “there are starving children in China” and resort to the more modern “there’s going to be a starving child in this house if you don’t calm yourself with a quickness”. It gets mixed results.

I know that this too shall pass, because all in all she’s a great kid. I parent her the way I do for many good, solid reasons, and I know in the end she will be a pretty rad adult. Because that’s the end goal: to raise a well-adjusted, confident, smart, articulate, productive, happy adult; not to have a well behaved kid. She doesn’t take anyone’s crap, she’s assertive and confident in what she thinks (even when she’s dead wrong), and those are well-respected traits in a grown-up. When smashed into an adorable little person who is giving me a pissy look while they rant about the unfairness of having to pick up their toys after a long day of 2nd grade, they just make me want to choke her out. Not all the way, just enough to facilitate a nice, peaceful nap.

She’s in one of her growth cycles right now: Crankiness, sleeping more and eating more. She’ll be sprouting 3 inches within the next month, successfully out-growing all the new school clothes and shoes everyone just got her. But if this first wave of adolescent hormones drops along with her other symptoms, it’s a small price to pay for all our sanity.

Of course, then there are the mornings like today, where I’m so fed up with her from the last week, and even though she’s being good and joking around (she has a pretty great sense of humor and comedic timing beyond her years, I’m very proud), I’m still irritated as hell with every breath she takes, and then I’m the jackass, because now she’s just being funny and silly, and I’m two seconds away from losing my shit.

So today I’m going to decompress, drink my coffee, get some stuff done around the house today in preparation for watching a friend’s kiddoes this weekend (they’re still rather little, I hope they let me squeeze them!) and chill the eff out before my own progeny gets home from school.

If you see a story on the news tonight about a mother who went insane immediately after picking up her kid from school, ripping her clothes off and running screaming through the streets, it was me after her getting in the car and instantly throwing a fit about the length of the line for the slide at recess.

  • Coffee
  • Blog
  • Make the bed
  • Laundry
  • Unload the dishwasher
  • Reload the dishwasher
  • Pick up kitchen
  • Tidy up the guest room
  • Pick up the living room
  • Sort mail
  • Sweep
  • Plan dinner
  • Return library books
  • Pick up offspring
  • Don’t lose mind
  • Dinner
  • Homework
  • Kid bedtime
  • Wine

TEA Friday eCard

Have Mug, Will Travel

As anyone who has broadened their horizons in a direction outward of their home sphere will say to people who have not, you really don’t realize how much you take for granted the accessibility of loved ones. Look at me, I’m saying it to you right now, although I have no idea of how broad your horizons are. Having people you care about within whim-distance of you (that is, close enough to see “on a whim”) is something truly special. While the situation was less than ideal, I was very pleased to be able to go pick up a friend whose car had died, thankfully after all the kiddoes were dropped at school. We had already talked about meeting at her house for coffee, so I had my new favorite Ariel mug in tow. At least that way I felt less like a mooch about the free coffee, and got an extra shot of Torani Classic Caramel syrup. We got to visit and chit chat and goof around, which are some of the things we do best together. We discussed the possibility of going all Breaking Bad in order to generate extra income (although neither of us is a chemist) and I got the news that someone I know is pregnant, and it might be twins, and if you’ve happened to pop over to the WMC and read my latest featured post, you’ll know how happy I am for her, so we talked about that, too.

Alas, if a friend gives you a ride, she will want coffee. If you give that friend coffee, she will stay at your house for four hours and not get anything else done or her blog updated. Which is why I’m here now, at nearly 1:30pm.

Oh, but I did manage to send Shelby off this morning with a cute little Minecraft-inspired bento box lunch I prepared last night. I’ve been pinning the crap out of school lunch bentos lately, and I was inspired. Behold:

photo (1)
Please, contain your excitement

It’s not award-worthy, but it’s not awful. It’s a ham and lettuce sandwich, cheddar and mozzarella cheese cube building blocks and a Creeper apple. The details are made of nori attached with honey. I’ll let you know whether she was stoked or appalled.

I have actually gotten a few things done today. I picked up the kitchen (mostly) and did the dishes. I also realized I hadn’t sent in the house note, and had no stamps, so I rushed out to the post office, with nothing but a twenty. After some nice-but-somewhat-catty bantering between the two postal employees behind the counter, I started to get uncomfortable. I mean, I know it sucks to make that much change, but I did offer to buy a few more stamps to make it easier, though I was not in the mood to buy two entire books, which was her response to my offer. The other woman said “You’re nicer than me, I wouldn’t have sold it to her…” in a tone that clearly stated that cattiness was not my imagination. Then when I asked where the drop was for the outgoing mail, she smiled and said “I’ll take it for you,” which had just enough cartoon villain in it to make me wonder, after handing her the envelope, if my house note was really getting paid on time this month. Guess I’ll find out, won’t I!

So now I’m back at the house, excited that I’ll get to make a list with things already crossed off of it, and that I’m about to have artichoke hearts on toast. Toast I made in the oven, because who loses a toaster that’s sitting on the counter? This girl.

Enjoy the list, and really check out the artsy mugs Disney has out right now. But don’t buy the Ariel one. That one’s mine. There can be only one.

  • Get Shelby to school with awesome lunch
  • Coffee with esteemed biotch
  • Dishes
  • Pick up kitchen
  • Clean vent-a-hood
  • laundry
  • Go to post office
  • Be nice to rude public servants
  • Mail house note (maybe?)
  • Pick up living room
  • Find craft stuff for crafting date tomorrow
  • Find most delicious quiche recipe on Pinterest
  • Pick up Da Beeb
  • Feed said Beeb meatloaf
  • Homework
  • Make sure Mr. Waffles gets some sun time this evening
  • Downtime

The Triumphant Return of The Hausewife

Or, The Renewed Adventures of a Stay-At-Home Mom. I couldn’t decide, so you can take your pick.

Life today is almost unrecognizable from what it was when The Everyday Alchemist was formerly moving full steam ahead. But because my affinity for lists hasn’t been one of the many changes, I’ll break it down for you:

  • We moved back to Texas! This is good for me and good for you, as all my family and friends are here, both groups are awesome, and there will be plenty of shenanigans to share
  • We are in an awesome house! The fact that it isn’t a cramped log cabin should be sufficient awesomeness, but it’s spacious, in a good neighborhood within a good school district and The Hubs’ bestie lives next door (and I swear to God, I am going to have to go over there and murder him right now, because it’s his day off and he’s working on something in his shop that sounds like a jack hammer fueled by cocaine and rock and roll)
  • I have forever escaped the clutches of my horrid excuse for a job, and perhaps will one day actually be able to eat a chicken wing again
  • I’m back at my full time mommy and housewife gig, which is really where I excel (and because I am not paying $10 to change my Xbox live name)
  • I have a brand new- to existence, not just “brand new to me”!- desktop computer with a ginormous screen and the latest version of Microsoft Office so that I can quite pecking out excerpts with my thumbs on my iPhone and actually get down to work on my writing projects
  • I’m working on writing projects that aren’t just mine, as well! I’m editing a comic book (very scary, you won’t be buying the kids a copy for Christmas), I’m the new editor of the Beaumont Breastfeeding Coalition’s newsletter, and I’m a featured blogger over at wholemotheringcenter.org
  • A change that is good for our family but not always fun is that The Hubs now works offshore. He’s the Medical Person In Charge (yeah, that’s right, I just title-dropped) of an oil rig, and while I’m terribly proud of him, it does rather suck being a single parent 50% of the month. But… that just leaves more time for blogging and crafting and not doing laundry. So the same, really, without the squabbling

Like many of my lists, that got rather off track. I had intended to talk more about The Beeb’s first day of school and how I still haven’t quite gotten the hang of not choking up as I turn her over to her new teacher.

You can see the sadness all over my face

She was so excited to go to school that she got up at 6:30 totally unprompted, and we all had a lovely morning preparing for the day. She was also ecstatic that her daddy got to bring her to school for the first day, too. After saying our goodbyes, he and I went to Rao’s and had croissants and coffee. I realized it was the first First Day since Kindergarten that we’d actually been able to go together, and it was rather like a reward for not altogether losing our shit while wading through the insanity of last-minute supply shopping at The Place of Which We Do Not Speak (I’ll give you a hint- their patrons are often seen in bra-less tank tops and pajama pants with mismatched flip-flops) the day before. It made it a bit easier for him to ship off this morning. By 5:30 am he was on his way, but he stopped to leave a note, and The Producers soundtrack I thought was lost, for me to find when I got in my car. It really is a shame he had to go, because that’s a really good way to get lucky around here.

So now I’m drinking coffee, trying desperately to finish this post before something else distracts me (I am apparently very popular this morning), and getting to work on my list. For your viewing pleasure, these are the things going down today:

  • Make coffee
  • Make beds
  • Pick up the living room
  • Run dishwasher
  • Pick up kitchen
  • Laundry
  • Make meal plans and grocery list (must remember stuff for school lunches AND snacks!
  • Get nails did
  • Go to HEB (can I just say how totally stoked I am to be able to go to HEB again???)
  • Pick up Da Beeb
  • Homework
  • Dinner
  • Dinner clean up
  • Bath
  • Maybe wine (lol “maybe”…)

Damn it’s good to be back. Have a freakin’ awesome day!

Fall Cleaning

My very favorite season smashed up against one of my least favorite activities. It seems offensive. But alas, if one wants to properly decorate for Halloween with all the wondrous things one has pinned to one’s I Heart Halloween, one must clean, mustn’t… one? Too much.

Just after I wrote that, Shelby came in from outside with the really cool insectarium we got at a garage sale. She was very excited to have her first resident. She said she’d caught a “baby bee!” so I was kinda like Say whaaaat? She showed me her new BFF, and behold, it was a hornet! Dead, of course, but still! The only bee sting I’ve ever gotten was when I stepped on a dead bee, and it didn’t tickle. So anyway, I tell her what her little friend really is, and that he is no longer with us, and I get this face:

                                     This is the “all my friends are dead” face

She then walked off and lamented “I FINALLY get an insect and he’s dead! DEAD! I thought he was just passed out!… I’m going to keep him, to show the others.”

Me: “As a warning of what is to come if they don’t keep in line?”

Shelby: “No, like a sculpture. But dead.”

Alrighty then.

It’s hard to do anything in a messy house, especially decorate for a holiday, extra especially for the second most awesome holiday. I’ve even made a deal with Shelby to help: She does everything on her list, and we’ll start construction on our paper mache Fiji mermaids! She’s been (not quite weird-kid-in-the-neighborhood) obsessed with the idea of the Fiji mermaid after seeing one on Oddities on the Science channel (looooove that channel- that bundle is worth the extra $5 a month). She drew a picture of a three-headed specimen and it hangs proudly on our fridge, right next to a picture of her dad in Dublin and the number to a good child therapist. She’ll be making her deluxe version, while I’ll be making the standard PT Barnum gaffe-style mermaid. I can’t wait, I love paper mache. Glad I stocked up on Elmer’s glue during back-to-school sale season!

Enough about dead wasps and phony sideshow staples, on to the list-making!

Mom’s List:

  • Make coffee
  • Blog
  • Pick up kitchen
  • Unload dishwasher
  • Reload dishwasher
  • Scrub sink & fixtures

*Insert 30 minute telephone conversation with my grandparents here*

  • Clean stove
  • Wipe counters
  • Take out trash
  • Take decor off of counter/bar
  • Pick up living room
  • Pledge tables
  • Vacuum
  • Sweep
  • Fold clothes
  • Put away clothes
  • Pick up bathroom
  • Pick up bedroom

My goal today is to get the kitchen and living areas clean enough to decorate, I got (mostly) caught up on laundry yesterday and did all the ironing. Everything else is extra credit work, all gold stars redeemable for pinot grigio. And yes, that was a shameless pat on the back back there.

Shelby’s List:

  • Pick up all scraps of stuff/ stuff cat has adopted and strewn about
  • Pick up everything belonging to her/ stuff she left out
  • Dust tables
  • Dust fireplace
  • Pick up all toys and books in her bedroom (and put them WHERE THEY GO)
  • Help Mom when asked

Ambitious, but it is with ambition that great things are achieved! Or messy houses are made less messy. Something momentous like that.

Have a great day!

Do-It Day Begins

Today is a mix. It’s like someone bought one of the good bags of candy- you know, the one with the name brand (Hershey) chocolate- and one of the crappy bags of candy- ya know, the cheap one with the sorry excuses for cheap candy- and mixed it all together in a decorative bowl. Then, I grabbed a handful, and that’s how this day is. Confusing? Let me count the ways that this day is awesome, and also sucks all of the… well, it just sucks:

  • First day of October! Yea, real fall!
  • It was 64 degrees when I took Shelby to school… 64! That’s practically snow, right?
  • I get to stay home and focus on Do-It Day, which I will explain in a minute
  • I’m still in Dustin’s pajama pants
  • There’s a brand new bag of coffee in the cabinet

That all sounds marvelous, no? Well, that loveliness bulleted above is tempered by the facts that:

  • The reason I’m home is that my Dooney Burke purse was stolen out of my car while parked UNDER MY OWN CARPORT, and with it, my server’s permits
  • Although I called the local permit office for a replacement Friday morning, no one could be bothered to sign the damn thing then, and may not bother to do so today
  • I can’t go to work without my own personal copy, so therefore, no work for me until the permit person can be bothered to sign a slip of paper
  • I had just decided to start saving up all my tips (not used for gas) for something awesome
  • I need gas in my car
  • I’m home, and home is where the laundry is

So, yeah. That’s my ranting and bitching for today. I feel a little better, actually. Cool.

“But what is Do-It Day?!” I’m so very glad you asked! I decided that since we’re going to Texas to visit everyone on the 26th, exactly 26 days from today, and I’m just sick of myself, I’m going to really hit the healthiness full force for the next 3+ weeks. [OMG, I just heard a bunch of crows and the wind! It is SO Fall!] If you’ll remember, last Fall I lost some serious (for me) weight, about 30 pounds. I did it quickly, and with no exercise, but it wasn’t fun. Almost all I ate was raw vegetables. You couldn’t see it, but I scowled as I typed that. I’m not going to go THAT crazy with it, but I do want to try to lose a little somethin’ somethin’ before going home. And Dustin is going to do it with me, which will be fun, right up until 3 days from now when he’s already lost 10 pounds and needs new pants.

Because, let’s be honest, that’s what it’s really about

I’m not setting an end goal, just a goal that I do my best to make healthy choices, and try ever-so-hard not to binge. I’ll also be exercising this go-round, so hopefully the results will be good. I’ll post here what workout type thing I’ll be doing that day (when I am able to blog- who knows, that permit may never get signed and I may inadvertently become a housewife again!). Today I’m going to try out the 5 Minute Brazilian Butt Lift! Sounds feisty and exciting! Not sure what the menu is going to look like- I’ll have to scan my Pinterest a little more before I nail one down for the day. If I’m here tomorrow, I’ll letcha know.

Ugh, a list? A to-do list? I really did forget I’d have to make one. Dustin cleaned the kitchen most gloriously last night, so I suppose it would be the “right” thing to do today…. Balls.

  • Call the permit office
  • Not yell at secretary for the incompetence of her boss(es) and the stupid state laws by which they operate
  • Make coffee
  • Search Pinterest for low fat high, yumminess food choices
  • Laundry
  • Pick up living room*
  • Clean bathroom sink
  • Scrub toilet
  • Wipe down shower
  • Shower myself
  • Xbox?
  • Watch Real Housewives of New Jersey Season Finale part 2 on DVR

Something just got moved to the top of the list! Have a great day everyone!

*In case years from now Shelby is scanning the interwebs  and she comes across this blog, I want to be sure to give her the shout out she deserves- She picked up her toys from last night this morning, and I only had to ask twice! AND, she didn’t complain about it! This might be a record.