Monthly Archives: November 2011

Write On

Today is going to be a good day. How do I know this? One: Coffee. B: No fits were thrown while getting ready for school. Also: Getting to talk to people who give me the warm fuzzies. Especially creative people who make me all tingly in my writey places, like my dear friend ~h. So, first order of business *sips coffee from enormous mug* is to finish this up, gather my notebooks (I have one for a specific project- my children’s book- and one for general writing purposes- lines I think of, story ideas, planning the demise of my enemies under the guise of art, etc) and make sure my mechanical pencils are full of lead.

Today’s list will be shorter than it rightfully should  be because I have to drive into the city to take Shelby to the dentist this afternoon (she may actually be singing All I Want For Christmas Are My Two Front Teeth and I am way excited about this!). That is going to take some time, as we will be heading back in prime rush hour traffic in a major metropolitan area. It doesn’t help that we’ll have to drive right through the very heart of the city where all the fancy-car-owning bad drivers and the hotsy-totsy little career bimbos in their fancy little heels and pencil skirts all work. That’s how I see all the women who work in the Central Business District, anyway. Though it’s unlikely, my apologies to any of them who may be reading this. I love your pumps! How do you walk on the 200 year-old cobble stones without dying? Please don’t cut me off in traffic.

Seriously though. Because I will end you and take your shoes.

Alrighty then:

  • Writing!
  • Pick up the living room  Make Shelby pick up the living room (seriously, I went all Godzilla on her toy village last night trying to navigate the living room on my way to get clean pajama pants from the laundry on the couch)
  • Pick up the kitchen
  • Unload dishwasher
  • Reload dishwasher
  • Clean Francois’ hutch
  • More laundry
  • Tidy our bathroom
  • Figure out something for dinner
  • Try not to kill anyone on I-10

Some of these things are easier than others.


Laundry & Coveting Monday

Happy Cyber (or in my case, Coveting) Monday! And also, Happy Food Resentment Week! I for one had a smashing good time in Texas, which makes for a happy Hausewife. In fact, due to 6 days of Mexican food, Margaritas and Mama’s cooking I am currently 8 pounds happier. But it’s cool. After I enjoy the huevos rancheros I’m about to make us for brunch (we’ve had something of Tex-Mex origin every day since we got back…), it’s back to grapefruit juice and raw zucchini.

This girl is totally not overacting her enjoyment of that apple.

Also back on the agenda: Laundry. And lots of it. I could have easily done it at Mom’s house- or even pouted her into doing it for me- but my stepdad’s Dog of Satan hangs out in the wash room, so no. Besides, who doesn’t love having to drive home in pajama pants and arrive with a suitcase full of dirty clothes? It’s part of the joy of holiday travel! And it is Monday, the traditional New Orleans day for laundry and red beans & rice. So yes, laundry and beans today. Also coming up:

  • Unpacking the car (Boo. I think I’ll make The Husband do it.)
  • Picking up around the house after a lazy recovery weekend
  • Check out the Cyber Monday deals and lament that payday is 4 days away
  • Fold clean laundry (I’d say “and put away” but really, there’s no need to lie to you good people. It’s not getting put away today.)
  • Unload the dishwasher
  • Probably make another pot of coffee
  • Start red beans
  • Do some stretching (because I’m still too bloated to do actual calisthenics.)
  • Pare down the DVR and try to remember to finally reset SNL to record
  • Rearrange the Christmas decorations my hubby was kind enough to set about without thought to aesthetics or cohesion

Sounds like a full but not awful day at home with my bacon bringer. Let me know if you get any good deals online today, so I can congratulate you and then talk bad about you to myself!

Texas Bound In The A.M.

Man, I tell ya. When I first thought “Hey, I cook and clean every day around here. I think I’ll blog about it!”, I didn’t really think this whole “accountability” thing through. I mean, I’d been posting to-do lists for years on social networking sites, but there is just something about putting it here that makes the rebellious 12 year old in me dig in their heels and say Uh-uh! at the top of their squeaky little lungs. And now, since I love you too much to lie to you, you know when I haven’t gotten stuff done, because I put it on the next list. I am a listing fiend and yet did not make the lists that I had on my list yesterday. Wow. I make lists about making lists. I’ll get back to you when I know how I feel about that.

Tomorrow we leave for Texas! I can’t wait. I miss my friends and family and Casa Ole and the terrible stink of oil refineries. And, if there is one culinary niche my mama has mastered it’s Thanksgiving. Every year Turkey Day gets pwned by her delicious stuffing, and that is probably #2 on the list of reasons I will be driving 5+ hours in holiday traffic. I love me some Thanksgiving.

Above: Archival photograph of the first Thanksgiving

That also means that there will be no TEA Blogging all next week (you see what I did there? Heh? Heh?). I wish that this one was going to be totally epic, but it’s not. Other than the usual picking-up, Dustin invited some friends over, so I’ll have to add that level of Holy Shite People Will BE HERE!!! tidying and stashing to that, as well as get everything packed and ready to leave first thing tomorrow.  On top of that, I have to go to the school at 1:00 this afternoon to set up and attend their Thanksgiving program. If anyone else has anything they need me to do, please feel free to let me know, as I obviously do not have enough for today! So, before I gulp my coffee, curse my burned tongue and get this cleaning party started, this is what I’m gonna try to do today:

  • Make-up & Clothes (adding this to the list, lest I leave the house in my house shoes like a did a few weeks ago; surprisingly, no one at the Wal-Mart noticed)
  • Unload dishwasher
  • Reload dishwasher
  • Laundry
  • Fold clothes
  • Put away clothes
  • Pick up art room
  • Pick up living room
  • Pick up computer area
  • Clean Shelby’s table
  • Finish lists
  • Get packing 80% done
  • Pick up Capri Suns for school thing
  • Go to school thing
  • Burst with pride at Shelby’s Pilgrim singing
  • Come home
  • Start cooking whatever is decided shall be had
  • Have a damn beer

Because I am going to need it!

Happy and safe Thanksgiving to all o’ y’all!

Until next year, boys, until next year.

Payday! Whoop Whoop!

It’s always like a little holiday, especially for me, since I eat bon-bons all day and watch soap operas (rather than get thrown up on by homeless dudes and deliver babies in moving vehicles like my sugar daddy). I wish there was a “you’ve got mail!” sort of notification that would play once that direct deposit goes through. Ah, yes. Money.

I has it.

Usually, payday is my very most favorite of days because I get dolled up, go get a Sonic drink, run my errands and do my grocery shopping. Since we will be in Texas basically all week next week, I don’t need to grocery shop (soup and sandwiches until Saturday, y’all!). And I ran most of whatever errands might come up last week. So now what? I think I’m going to go to Wal-Mart (Ooo! Or Sam’s!) just for good measure. In fact, yes, Sam’s, because I want the cheapest gas possible. So, make-up, Sonic, Sam’s…. What else? I could do some chores. No, no. Let’s not get crazy. This is Out of The House Day. Maybe… Dollar Tree? For Shampoo. And… You know what, I am going to go to the mall! I honestly never think to. Like, ever. But we have a perfectly fine (albeit tiny) mall across the street from Sam’s. It’s perfect for walking laps while you window shop. I always get a bit of a rush passing all the other mall walkers. Move over, grandpa! Better grease that prosthetic hip for next time! Excellent. So, make-up, Sonic, Sam’s, Dollar Tree  (no, scratch that, I don’t need shampoo that bad), mall. Boo yah! This day just got awesome.

Oh yeah, people call me The Hausewife. Um, ok, wifely things…

  • Laundry (done! Boom!)
  • Unload dishwasher
  • Reload dishwasher
  • Put away all the clothes I folded yesterday but then started watching Steel Magnolias on WE then got tired and went to bed
  • Pick up the kitchen
  • Make lists of:
    1) everything we need to bring to Texas
    2) everything/one we need to do/see in Texas
    3) groceries to buy upon our return because Yaya’s leftovers only
    go so far

There. Chores. Everyone happy? Fantastic! Happy (possible) Payday to you all!

Rainy Day Activities For Mom

Dude. It is seriously pouring outside. Like, torrential. Like, I have not seen it rain like this since a day a long time ago that I’m not sure of the date but am not committed enough to this sentence to think about enough to remember. But yeah, it’s totally raining.

Moms should get Rainy Days. You know, like when it’s raining outside and your kids are whining about being booooooored and are closer to death than they may ever know. You have to do something to shut them up, and since you have no desire to be the inspiration for an episode of Snapped, you have to find a way to entertain them. Well. Maybe I’m boooooored. Maybe I don’t feel like doing anything when it’s fabulously soggy outside.  Maybe there’s an inclement weather loophole about cocktails before noon. I think the answers are Yes, Yes, and Surely somewhere. So today, I will do very little of cleaning, and very much of vegging. I’ll finish my list from yesterday (I’m not gonna lie, totally didn’t do anything to the bathroom), work on finishing my painting and watch How I Met Your Mother re-runs on Lifetime and Pin wonderful things that make me feel cozy on a raining day. But I will be sure everyone gets fed and everyone has clean dishes (paper plates are a gift from God) and all will be right with the world tomorrow when mom is back to scrubbing the counters and wondering what that smell is.

Oh yes! And in case you were wondering what sort of fabulousness sprang forth from my fantastic mind and onto the canvas yesterday (completely unaided by libation, mind you!), here ya go:

Ta-da! It is as of yet unfinished. But hey, ya can’t rush art!

It’s a Good Day!

There are a few things in life that just make you smile first thing in the morning- coffee already being made, the house not being exponentially worse than it was when you went to bed, money on the dresser (from your husband, of course!). This morning I discovered another happy-maker to add to that list: Blog comments from people you don’t know! And not lame ones or rude ones or ones where the author clearly has no idea what’s going on, but nice ones! Good ones! I am very excited about this. Welcome, and tell your friends! : D

Today I will be shirking my domestic responsibilities somewhat in the name of art and female bonding. A nurse friend of Dustin’s from work and I are going to go to our local  Corks & Canvas to get all painty with our bad selves. But, alas, having chosen the almost-half-price daytime version of the class, there will be no corks. Living so near New Orleans, and indeed feeling very New Orleanian most of the time, I was going to bring something anyway. I mean, 11 here is noon in Michigan, so why not? But her teenage daughter will be getting out of school to come-with, so I guess that would be “irresponsible” or some other needlessly long word. Do kids ever stop cramping your style?

Before you go out, how about you clean up all those hopes and dreams over there.

Nevertheless, this should be loads of fun. We’re going to grab an early lunch first (OMG- I just realized, that might qualify as brunch! Yes! I will be calling this brunch. Sweet!), do some guided painting, then I’ll come home and:

  • Do laundry
  • Pick up the kitchen
  • Unload the dishwasher
  • Reload the dishwasher
  • Feed Francois
  • Pick up the master bath
  • Clean the tub
  • Clean the sink
  • Clean the toilet
  • Empty the trash
  • Proclaim that chores interfere with my artistic spirit and collapse into my chair with a glass of wine
Sounds like a good day to me!

Flashing: A Good Way to Start the Week

I suppose there is a small piece of my brain missing that causes me to forget that every week, there are the same seven days that get used over and over, and that those days sometimes have things that happen on them every week, like Saturday Night Live (the day is right there in the title, and for some reason I am almost always surprised that it’s about to come on). I almost always forget that violin lessons are every Monday at 9 am as well. How? Why? Orange? Who knows?!

So anyway, I manage a shower and make-up before zooming up to the school (parents have to be present) to get Shelby from class and walk her to the opposite end of the building for her lesson. There’s only one other boy, and today he wasn’t there, so she had the teacher all to herself (which is nice, because, adorable though that boy is, I want to strangle him with his own strings). Not seeing this as a golden opportunity to get some one-on-one attention, Shelby spends most of the class fidgeting, trying to walk in circles and purposely playing the wrong cords. I was about ready to beat her with her extra bow when class was finally over. But, when the instructor walked away to return his instrument to it’s case, she manned up and played the piece beautifully. Then basically threw her violin at me and ran to meet a passing friend in the hall. He said that she may have a confidence issue or be shy about her playing (which sounds about right for her), but that all her shenanigans remind him of his older Gifted & Talented kids, and that she seems to really have some natural talent. Perhaps he is taking an added interest in her because he sees her potential. Or maybe he’s hoping that we will continue to come to class since halfway through she walked right up to me, threw the front of my shirt in the air and gave my tummy a hug. There’s no way to be sure. But, if it lands her a scholarship down the road, I’ll wear pasties to the next session, just in case.

Did somebody say “full ride”?

Now that I’ve been exposed on an elementary school campus, it’s probably all up hill from here! (Which, really, when you’re doing housework, up hill sounds just awful.) Once I get through typing, I’ll:

  • Do some laundry (already done, boo yah!)
  • Make the bed (this too, what what!)
  • Unload the dishwasher (still gotta do it. Boo.)
  • Reload the dishwasher
  • Clean the sink
  • Take out the trash
  • Fold clothes
  • Pick up the living room a little
  • Pick up the bedroom a lot
  • Find and wash all the stray water glasses
  • Dust the bedroom (I swear the TV just spits it out like fluffy exhaust fumes)
  • Return all jewelry and hair things to their rightful places
  • Look disgustedly at Shelby’s messy room then close the door
Dustin went hunting this morning, so there is still a possibility that I will have to do some butchering and putting-away. I don’t mind, as long as this one isn’t full of buck shot like the last one. I like my teeth just the way they are, thank you. But we’ll see. Something about flashing musicians always makes me want some good ol’ BBQ.