Monthly Archives: January 2012

And the Apple Said No, No, No

Well f*ckaroo. I was a third of the way done with today’s post when MAC crapped out on me. As I’ve said before, I am SO not into blogging by phone, so I’ll finish my coffee and my string cheese and post today’s post tomorrow or Monday. I’ll have to clear that with MAC of course. Maybe bring him chocolate. Overpriced electronics like that sort of thing.

Unofficially Assuming Moving Mode

Dear Lord. I’ve been on the computer for like 3 hours already, including Skyping with ~h and updating my About the Blogger thing. What is this feeling I feel? Am I over the internet for today? This is new and unsettling. I don’t like it. Surely it’ll pass.

This isn’t going to be a terribly long or fulfilling post, as I’ve got lots to do today, and I feel like my butt’s about to fall asleep. I spent a good chunk of yesterday on here, recycling the Facebook page for my old blog into a page for this blog. I’m surprised and excited at the response it’s gotten already. I’m up about 15 fans, and some of them aren’t even friends and family members! And I had my first view from an internet search, so that’s something. (The thing said the term searched was “girl on diet”… don’t know if I’m relevant, but I’ll take what traffic I can get!)

Something I read this morning that I found interesting  was that John James Audubon’s book is going to auction today. I like books, I like illustrations of birds and I’m a big fan of anything having to so with this area, where Audubon is well known, so I thought that was pretty cool. I’d love to find some prints of his engravings somewhere on the cheap and frame them. They’d go phenomenally well in a log cabin.

But yeah, today I have to do some regular housework and also attempt to go through things and skim off the top. I’m going to state that this is “unofficial” in order to make myself feel very efficient that anything is getting done before it is “officially” time to actually get anything done. I’m very clever. Clearly.

Without wasting anymore time- and before my eyeballs melt out of my head Raiders of the Lost Ark-style from staring at this screen any longer- here is today’s to-do’s:

  • Pick up kitchen
  • Clean Francois’s cage
  • Move Francois’s cage to wreck room
  • Cuddle Francois
  • Pick up living room
  • Clean Shelby’s table
  • Change Shelby’s linens
  • Bag for donation or trash 10 things from Shelby’s room (don’t you dare have sympathy for her, or I’ll send it all to your house!)
  • Laundry
  • Unload dishwasher
  • Reload dishwasher
  • Decide what to make for supper/my vegan alternative and take meat out of freezer
  • Eat something as soon as this is done because that full pot of coffee I had this morning is eatting through my internal organs

Have a wonderful day, y’all!

Playing Catch Up & Author Today

Busy, busy morning here in the the Badassery Household (yes, that is totally our real last name. It’s Lithuanian), so I’m getting off to a late start with today’s post. I may or may not have also gotten sidetracked at Happy Place.

Broth Watch 2012 is coming to an end today. The liquid is dark and rich, the bones are crumbly, and if I have to smell this f*cking broth anymore without being able to taste it I’m gonna flip my shit. And I’m pretty much out of containers to store it. All in all, I think this was a very well spent three days, as far as clear soup making goes. According to the originator of this recipe, it’s taken about $3 worth of electricity, but I’d have thrown out the roasted chicken bones and skin, and spent more than that on far less canned broth, so it’s worked out well.

I didn’t get everything on my list done yesterday because I ended up having to go see about septic permits in order to get electricity turned on at the cabin, go to the post office, etc. Therefore I’ll have to recycle a few things. I will however be lighting a fire under my own lovely derriere and am committed to finishing a short story today that I like very much. I may give a synopsis here when it’s done, but that’s it, as it is part of what I’d like to publish by the end of the year, and I really want your .99 cents for the digital download.

I know I’ve been going on and on about writing lately, but I just can’t help it. I love it. And I’m all fired up. Very seldom do I get fired up enough to actually act on it and continue to act on it, and that is how fired up I have been this week. I am so incredibly blessed to be surrounded with a concentrated group of truly talented individuals, and it’s very exciting. I feel like a pageant toddler on pixie stix, just all jazzed up and sparkly and ready to get stuff done! And get money. And maybe a crown. Totally a crown.

Why yes, yes I am wearing this to Wal-Mart.

In order to do all that though, I need to get this house picked up. For inspiration, I’ll be popping over to Lovely Living for a few minutes, a lovely little blog I’ve been following off and on for a couple of years and have always found motivational. (While fetching the link I glanced through today’s topic, which is emergency preparedness, although the correct name for it is Zombie Preparedness. It’s a common error.) So, here we go:

  • Run vinegar through the coffee pot
  • Remember to run clean water through the coffee pot
  • Unload dishwasher
  • Reload dishwasher
  • Clean sink
  • Wipe down stove
  • Take out trash
  • Clean counters
  • Pick up general kitchen area
  • Fake organize my computer area
  • Pick up all the crap Dustin unloaded from his duty bag and left on the buffet
  • Laundry, with an emphasis on uniforms
  • Fold clothes
  • Polish [until very shiny and award worthy] Survivor Girl [working title that I do not like for this story but am using because it’s simple]

Let’s Get It Started In He-YAH!

Runnin’ runnin-in, runnin’ runnin-in…

Ok so after I typed that title I realized I actually hadn’t heard that song in a long time, other than in advertisements, so I had to go to YouTube and watch the video. It really is a fun song. Kinda makes me want to work out.

Love me some Jenna Marbles.
[Language Advisory] 

Now I’m back. Let’s get started, for real this time.

Hey you! Glad to see ya! Willkommen. So yesterday I was all talky and resolution-y and yada yada. Today I guess I have to put my scrub brush where my mouth is (ooo, that sounds dirty… but in a gross, fetishy way… never mind) and get to work. I spent a couple hours last night on this site reading about how this nice lady, Becky, takes care of her home. I like reading stuff like that. Much like Pinterest makes me feel like a painter-slash-sculptor-slash-interior designer-slash-literary scholar-slash-kitten enthusiast, reading about other people cleaning and organizing makes me feel cleaner and more organized. More on the cleaning and organizing in a little bit when I start my list.

Broth Watch 2012, as I have just named it, is still in full swing. This whole perpetual broth thing that I linked about yesterday has really been cool. Shelby loves it, and not only drank broth all day (although you’re supposed to let it cook for a day before consuming) yesterday, but had some for breakfast. I even filled a  go-mug with it last night when Dustin came home for a minute between jobs and sent it for him to sip on his way to work. He was skeptical about a mug of chicken water, but raved about it this morning. The liquid is much darker and more rich looking and smelling today, which is driving me crazy (why does chicken have to be a meat and therefore non-vegan?!?!). I put about a quart of it away in the fridge last night, replaced the water, and this morning took almost all the liguid out (still cooling on the counter pre-fridge) and replaced it. I poked a piece of remaining chicken with a fork, and it seems really tender, but not overly soft. I sure wanted to put it in my mouth. [A mini-resolution of sorts is to not say “That’s what she said! Hi-oh!…” so much. I’m just so good at setting it up, it’s become second nature. It’s really hard… o.O …… Dammit!] I’m kind of thinking about buying a smaller crock pot (used maybe? I like the idea, but who knows what people have been crocking in their pot…) and just doing a small chicken once a month. Chicken broth is good for you, and not that fattening (I assume, I haven’t actually put forth the effort to find out), so that might help me on the quest for bigger pants. Sipping some savory broth during the day sounds awesome.

I also wanted to sort of add an addendum to the resolution list. I want to update here regularly (big fat check mark for today!), but also work a lot more on my creative writing, my fiction projects. I hope to at least have one polished and finished by 12/21/12 so I can clutch it while the sky dragons rain fire down upon the Earth (isn’t that what’s supposed to happen?) while yelling “I did it! I finally finished a project!”.

“All 50,000 words! Single spaced! My legacy will li- wait…”

Either that or get it finished and sold to someone who is going to help me get it in the hands of hopefully many more someones. Or digitally release it myself, even if it is a pain in the butt and really labor-intensive. My beloved ~h is spectacular at motivating me and getting my creative juices flowing, as I am for her *pats self on back*, and this morning was a wonderful flow of ideas and humor for one of her fantastic ventures. Once I get this thing over and done with, I’ll try to make a few quick notes for her undertaking before continuing with my day. Even though it’s not getting anything done out of my striped notebook, it still makes me feel satisfied. Much like sex and pizza, the more creative you get, the more you want. Or something like that. I just wanted to make a sex reference. And a pizza one. Is vegan week over yet? F*ck.

Here is today’s list. I’m going to shoot for simple. I don’t want to heap too much on myself all at once, lest my inner teenager rebel, scream “You’re not my real me!” and lock herself in the bathroom. Although, really, if she cleans the tub while she’s in there, I don’t give a crap what she says.

  •  Update Blog
  • Clean and redo household calender (it’s still on September- isn’t that just ridiculous?)
  • Pick up kitchen
  • Unload dishwasher
  • Reload dishwasher
  • Clean counters
  • Wipe down stove
  • Take out trash
  • Pick up living room
  • Laundry
  • Figure out where to put all the coats (I seriously never knew we had so many until everyone just started draping them over the chairs at the table)
  • Clean coffee table
  • Clean side table
  • Pick up bedroom
  • Change linens
  • Shower
  • Make-up
  • Apply for electricity permit for new house (yeah, you need a Parish permit to get electricity turned on. Ridiculous…)
  • Go to post office
  • Fuel car
  • Call school about boxes from cafeteria (totally forgot about this until just now! Thanks for reminding me, Me. I really need to do this)

And there you have it, the first chore list of the year from yours truly. Enjoy, and may you have a productive day [now that it’s almost noon]!

Bring it, 2012!


Whew! Holiday Hiatus over. Bright, new, shiny year now firmly in place. What to write, what to write? Well. This time of year clings firmly to the cliched making of the Resolution List, and seeing as how I love me a good list, who am I to argue with convention? Except that my list will be way more awesome and articulate than most other ones. Apart from yours, of course. Yours is fantastic, too.

  1. Go Vegan. For a week. – I started this approximately 30 hours ago, and it hasn’t gotten easier yet. As a Southern girl who can put away the weight of my child in cheese at a single sitting, this is a tough one. But I wanted to start the year off not only with a sort of “cleansey” type thing, but also to symbolize, at least to myself, that I am tough enough to pull myself through whatever tough stuff comes my way this year. And that I am  also apparently some sort of dairy masochist deep down inside. [I may or may not try to do a vegetarian week each month… I’m still deciding on that one…]
  2. Do at least one thing I have Pinned on Pinterest each month.- This is a modest goal. I made it this way so that if I get a measly two things accomplished I can be all like “Look at me! I totally doubled my goal! I shall reward myself with a glass of wine.” (Although we all know I’ll have that glass of wine regardless.) To get this off with a bang, today I’m starting some broth from our leftover roasted chicken carcass. Mmm, carcass. I’ll have to wait until Monday to taste it though. : /
  3. Reduce our constant clutter by one quarter.- We’re moving. Again. If you know anything about us, you know that in our house we like English Bulldogs, tattoos, books and moving before our milk has a chance to expire. I realized last year that we have LITERALLY never watched the season premiere of True Blood in the same house two years in a row. That blew my mind *explosion sound effect*. You’d think we’d be good at it. You’d think we’d have streamlined, living out of monochromatic Rubbermaid boxes and never falling in love with things we see at garage sales. You’d get laughed right out of this soon-to-be-old house. We have a lot of shit. Tons. Way too much. Dustin’s problem is he has issues and can’t pass up a good deal. My problem is I have issues and get way too attached to anything and everything. Shelby’s problem is she doesn’t have any issues yet, she’s just the only child of the family and is too cute not to own every toy ever made in all of everdom. And that was before we celebrated no less than five separate Christmases last month. I need to just roll up my sleeves, get a box of tissues and either trash or donate a lot of stuff. I’m tired of falling victim to that very familiar feeling of “f*ck it” once we’ve gotten almost everything packed, but I then have to go through Shelby’s artwork and all the crap inside the file cabinet and desk and then just say “f*ck it,” throw it all in boxes and go. We just lug this junk everywhere. Our new place is smaller by about a third, but it’s a beautiful log cabin with a great yard. I don’t want to ruin it’s rustic charm with crap no one has ever needed, just because I “might use it for a project” one day. I was actually really looking forward to getting a jump on this today (or at least drinking coffee and making a list of what I need to do), and while Dustin is at work, that evil, horrible, very bad, no good school of Shelby’s is out until tomorrow. Too late! Motivation lost! You’ll be seeing me on Hoarders: Louisiana Wilderness Edition.
  4. Get Fit.- I know, I just totally blew your minds with that one. Such originality! Gag. I hate to be That Girl. And while, yes, I’d like to lose 70 pounds and make all the other moms at school talk bad about me, I’ve found that focusing on that hasn’t done me any favors in the past. And yes, I have proclaimed (behind closed doors) that 2011 will have been the last fat year of my life, I can’t cry it from the rooftop with any certainty. I don’t like making statements that will come back to bite me in the ass. If, however, it comes back to bite me in my slightly smaller ass this time next year, that’d be great. I’ll never be a Skinny Minnie. I’m tall, I have broad shoulders and hip bones that, even now, under all my fluff, can be easily felt, and even occasionally seen when I lay down. Do I eat too much- I’m too good a cook not to. Do I exercise too little- Huh? Do I have any health problems- No, thank God. I just want to not despise myself. I want to like myself as much as my friends do. Which is a lot. ‘Cause I’m awesome. I’m just fat. And I’d like to change that a little bit.
  5. Update this blog E-V-E-R-Y day.- It was getting too heavy up in herr. No pun intended. But yeah, I need to update the blog more regularly. And betterly. I really am embarrassed that all I’ve been doing is bitching and listing. I promise to find better things to link to (like this! This is great. Especially Ebates, I adore Ebates.), and to be more vigilant in writing about cheap and groovy recipes,  new ways to get stuff done and awesome DIY’s I’ve done to rub in your faces. I find it makes for a much better day. So I’m really making this one out of selfishness, because it’s not about the readers. It’s about me. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME!
  6. Decide what I want, what I want to be and where I’m going, then get it, be it and go there.- Again with the heavy. It’s overdone, but it’s true. I have this profound need to wade through my consciousness, reevaluate my life and decided what stays and what goes. And I’m not even talking about that big pile of papers over there giving me the evil eye. I mean the real stuff, the intangible stuff. I’ve just been coasting for the last near-decade (and really, the majority of my life). Going along, getting along, getting by, taking care of everyone else. And it’s not that I don’t want to do that anymore- because if there are two things I don’t just completely suck at it’s being a mom and being a wife- it’s just that I want to start taking care of me, too. I don’t really know what that means or what it entails. I don’t even know what I want, let alone how to get it. I’m pretty good at picking out and picking apart the things about myself and life I don’t like. I’m less skilled at doing something about it. Taking action. I’ve always had circumstances or situations that kept me from doing that. Good reasons and excellent excuses. No money. No childcare. No time. I can’t change those things but I can figure out a way around them or over them or under them. I guess. I don’t know. I’m new to this whole Sacagawea way of thinking. But I’ll let you know how it works out.
  7. Balls.- No, my last resolution is not about sports (why? What were you thinking?). I just don’t like the number 6 that much. Five is my favorite. Seven? He’s ok. And I love saying seeeveeeeeeeeen! like on those old mobile phone commercials. So my 7th resolution is to keep being my nerdy, strange, none-useful-OCD self. (Just a less cluttered, more focused, more frequently updating, craftier, skinnier version)!
    And also to grow my hair out. I’m doing that too.
And growing out your hair.

What about youse guys? Any resolutions or anti-resolutions you’d care to share?