Monthly Archives: October 2011

Can Adult Halloween & Kid Halloween Coexist?

We will be finding out tonight! Dustin’s cousin invited us to a party at one of her friend’s houses where there will be grown-up kool-aid AND trick-or-treating. This will be the very first Halloween Dustin has had off since Shelby was born and we’re VERY excited. He’s even going to dress up! (And not in that foam beer can costume he bought when we were dating and tried to use every year until it “went missing.” I mean, come on. It smelled like feet.) Shelby is going as Princess Peach (not as epic as the zombie ninja octopus she had originally planned, but still pretty cool); I’m going to do the skull make-up, dress a bit western-ish and call myself a Dia de los Muertos… person; and Dustin did buy a wolfman mask and paws and was going to wear a flannel shirt, but now wants to have his face painted too. We are totally going to be wearing matching costumes! I am far too enthused by this.

Having already been to Shelby’s violin lesson and thrown some laundry on (sans coffee, people!), I am starting to get that 2:30 feeling thinking about all the other stuff that has to be done before the festivities begin tonight.

Left on the list is:

  • Make some dang coffee!
  • Turn on the dishwasher because I forgot last night and just remembered it
  • Go to the Spirit store for panty hose
  • See if they will let me have a box
  • Punch holes in box
  • Round up both cats and put in box (wear eye protection and gloves)
  • Take cats to their new happy home
  • Treat injuries
  • Bake cookies
  • Pick up Shelby from School
  • Get everyone dressed
  • Load car
  • Drive an hour to party destination
Yep. That seems like enough to get done in 5 hours. Happy Halloween!

Halloween 2011 Make-Up Test Run

Yeah, Halloween! Not just an excuse for kids to stuff themselves with sugary snacks and female humans to leave the house in things they wouldn’t even wear to do that thing he wanted to do that time but she said no! It’s a time for crisp, fragrant air. It’s a time for anticipation of happenings yet to come and a time where it is socially acceptable to believe, just a little bit, in magic. It’s also a time to get away with some kick-ass make-up, hair and fashion choices for even the most mundane of errands! I’m not very good with make-up. I do my daily routine and the talent stops there. I’m also not much of an instructor, but below are the photos I took while I was practicing my technique I’ll be using for Halloween night. I found this video and this video helpful during the process, and used this photo of a human skull (because he looked happier than the others). Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

First I haphazardly outlined in brown eye brow pencil all the areas I wanted to make black


I’m sorry, dear, I’ll do the dishes better next time! Haha, no. I used a kohl pencil to do my eye area…

I have a thing about smells, I have to smell everything… Don’t judge me

Then I filled in the areas I wanted with black cream make-up from Wal-Mart (.97 cents a tube!) using a paint brush

Then I filled in the rest with white (same price, same place) using a brush

I defined the separation of skull and skin with a little black, as well as added some pearly whites

I filled in part of my neck (didn’t want to use all my black), painted the vertebra on and set the whole thing with some setting powder ($7 from the Spirit store)

Then I did my make-up as usual on the other side

Two Sides! (< weak SNL reference)

PTA Mom…

Undead rockstar!

Later that night, before I took it all off, I decided to do a little Dia de los Muertos-style decorating. Still undecided how to play it. We’ll have to wait and see!

There’s Blue Sticky Dust Just… Everywhere.

I’ve really enjoyed getting up in the mornings, getting The Baby off to school and sitting down to pound out some nuggets of fabulousness here on the blog. Today, though, I had to go up to the school and set up for the Fall Festival. It was not very Fall, and the only thing Festival about it was that there were tickets being exchanged for throwing objects at other objects and getting cheap sold-by-the-gross novelties in return. But it was fun, we ate some nachos, and I let Shelby get a yard-long Pixie Stick under the impression that she would be returning to class to have her sugar fits and come home drained. It was when I jokingly mentioned this to her teacher that she smiled and said “Oh, no, you parents are taking them home when they’re done here.” She’s already gotten in trouble several times and I’ve had to threaten TVlessness and corner time. Willie Wonka is the devil. But, on an up note, her teacher did inform me that Shelby is being recommended for placement in the Gifted & Talented Arts Program for her “artistic exceptionality” (I didn’t even know that was a word, but I like it!). She asked if I had a dozen or so pieces of her art to submit with the nomination. I told her sure, but only if they are guaranteed safe return. I’m not sure what all being in the program means yet, but it’s still very exciting.

Uh, yeah, I might have a few to share with the committee.

As for housewifely things getting done today, I’ve folded all of the laundry that needed folding, collected all of the vagrant water glasses from around the house (you can tell when they’re all accounted for and clean because we have more than actually will fit in the cabinet) and unloaded the dishwasher. I’ll probably crack the whip and have Shelby help me pick up the living and art rooms, and I may take a peak in the wreck room (it’s supposed to be “rec” room but… ya know…). I’ll also run through the kitchen, since its like a magnet for everyone’s trash and clutter. I’ll probably also clean Francois’ hutch, which I am super excited about. Other than that, I think I’ll just hang ten on the interwebs and read some Really Scary Animal cards Shelby got in the mail one time (they’re kind of like index cards from Zoobooks. Remember those?! Ah, Zoobooks…). She likes me to read them to her around Halloween especially.

Speaking of Halloween!: I did the test run of my make-up and it was fantastic. I ended up having to run a few errands around town, which was a nice little miniature social experiment.  One guy took my picture (and then wanted to hang around and get to know me better…). It was fun. But Halloween will be the best. I’ll share the pictures of the process in a different post. Look for them ASAP!

Potato Chips: Breakfast of Champions

I love me some carbs. And I never buy chips because I will eat every last damn one of ’em before I even get the rest of the groceries unloaded (aside from tortilla chips, which are safe because if I don’t have queso or salsa they’re dead to me). Cheetos especially. Mmmm, Cheetos. My favorite. I can’t remember the last time I bought any, because I’d go into an orange dusted coma from lack of oxygen to my brain as I inhaled them straight out of the bag.

It's when you wake up naked in a bean bag chair with orange fingers that you know you have a problem.It’s when you wake up naked in a bean bag chair with orange fingers that you know you have a problem.

But Tuesday when I went to the store, I bought some store brand ridged potato chips (on sale for $1!), and, like any well-adjusted adult, I hid them from myself immediately upon entering the house, trying very hard to think of disgusting things while I was touching the bag (negative association WILL work one day…). But today I spotted the corner of the bag behind the fridge as I was coaching my coffee pot through the last few spurts of pre-readiness. I decided to play it coy. I casually strolled over, gently coaxed the bag from its hiding place and set it atop the microwave, so we could be face to face. I said hello, and asked if it came here often, to which it replied nothing. It too was being coquettish. I could contain myself no more and slowly tugged at the uppermost corners of the package, at which point I guess I got a little excited and ripped the bag down the side. Frak. Now the rest will be stale by noon. I took about 10 chips and did my best to reseal the bag and return it to it’s hidey hole, probably feeling a bit taken advantage of, but I don’t care because I’m the one who bought it and I have the receipt and don’t it ever forget it!

So now I’m eating chips and drinking coffee and life is the bomb. I did feel a little guilty before I ate that first chip, but then I remembered I’m an adult and that being an adult means I can eat whatever the hell I want for breakfast and if we had some ice cream I’d get a scoop just to prove a point! Point proving food tastes the best.

Before those empty, white-starchy carbs start making me eat my own fingers off, I’m going to hurry and lay out what I gotta get done today to ensure my continued kept woman status:

  • Pick up the kitchen
  • Unload the dishwasher
  • Do some laundry
  • Fold and put away laundry (if I could have a maid to do only two things, it would be to clean the baseboards and put the effing laundry away because I hate both those things equally)
  • Take out the trash and go get the dumpster from the curb
  • Clip coupons
  • Pick up the bedroom, including but not limited to:
    -Get all the Halloween costume stuff organized
    -Put away stray clothes that are clean but people don’t                                         know how to put back
    -Clean bedside tables
    -Clean the mirrors
  • I’ll probably check the guest bedroom to make sure no secret shenanigans have been taking place behind that closed door
  • Pick up the living room
  • Play some Xbox
  • Run extra gear, food, etc to Dustin at work
Unless I’m forgetting something not chore related, which is not only possible but likely, that should be it.  Oh, and I’m going to try to do a test run of the face painting I’m going to do for Halloween, so you can look forward to those pictures tomorrow! If it doesn’t flop, that is. Ooo, anticipation!


{Note: I have no idea why the title of this post is “46”. I think I may have forgotten to put a title, and WP filled in a numeric one for me. What a strange choice! I’m keepin’ it.}

This morning I can’t find my red notebook and this infuriates me. I need it. I make all of my lists in it- chores, groceries, the weekly menu. I am going to have to find it stat before this house goes down in flames. But if there’s no list of chores, are there still really chores to be done….?

Dustin is home today, so that mixes things up a bit. We’ll probably drink coffee and watch the news and some of his shows on the DVR (I recorded a documentary about zombies off of the History channel last night!). Good chores to get done when my luvah is home are laundry and dishes, because they can be tossed about quickly and left to do their thing. Domestic machinery is the bomb. I’m also going to make the moussaka recipe tonight that I got from $5 Dinners (<– super website!).

When I get done with this I’m going to pour our coffee into a caraffe, plop down in my chair and watch reality TV with the hubs. But first, food, because I am stavin’ Marvin this morning for serious.

Errands! Yea!

And I don’t even mean that sarcastically- I genuinely like errands. Unless they suck, like having to get a tooth pulled and have a teacher’s conference and having to wait in line at the post office, in that order. But none of that today! I’m gonna finish my coffee, finish my list, finish this entry, finish Barbie-dollin’ and start my day.

What lies before me? Well, first things first: Sonic. If I can manage to get there before 10 am (ha ha ha) I’ll be getting a large cherry limeade for .99 cents, which makes my day. I have to go to the store and buy food so we don’t starve; pick up a prescription; go pay the gym membership (ooo, that reminds me, I need to pay my Xbox subscription too. Don’t let me forget); come home and unload said food; check out this new store I got a coupon for in the mail; bring some stuff to Dustin at work; possibly get some sugar. Then I’m gonna come home, put my feet up and relax.

I’m totally kidding- I still have to clean up the ridiculousness I woke up to this morning: All the barstools and chairs, clean towels and blankets (everything from the linen closet), a bunch of socks, all the couch pillows and most of the stuffed animals in the house apparently became just sentient enough to go “Hey! Massive tent party in the living room! Whoop whoooop!” It looks like Charlie Sheen ransacked our living room, but with linens and toys instead of hookers and crack. Not unlike what is actually swirling around in that Winner’s mind, the world will never know what really transpired. I couldn’t get a confession, but I’m pretty sure Shelby was involved, somehow. I swear, if she wasn’t so dang cute, I’d have traded her curly headed, blue eyed butt for a pair of nude Louboutins on the black market years ago.

The weather outside is insanely gorgeous. It makes me wish I had a patio to sit out on and drink my coffee. But, instead, I’m going to Pinterest while I drink my coffee, then get started on this fabulous day. I hope you do the same!

Oh, Monday

So, yeah. What is this, day two? Three? The sun has already set? And I’m just now haphazardly smashing together words to form an entry for today? Balderdash, hop scotch, kazoo!  I will admit, I succumbed to Pinterest today. But I also scoured the master bathroom, did some laundry and the dishes, and got the weekly pot of red beans & rice rolling, so I still get a gold star. It helps that I’m the one that hands those out.

And it's so cute, too.And they’re so cute, too.

  • Bathroom clean
  • Red beans & rice on the stove
  • Dishwasher un- and re-loaded
  • Child & adult uniforms washed and ready for tomorrow
Sounds good to me! What’s on Netflix?