Monthly Archives: October 2012

Fall Cleaning

My very favorite season smashed up against one of my least favorite activities. It seems offensive. But alas, if one wants to properly decorate for Halloween with all the wondrous things one has pinned to one’s I Heart Halloween, one must clean, mustn’t… one? Too much.

Just after I wrote that, Shelby came in from outside with the really cool insectarium we got at a garage sale. She was very excited to have her first resident. She said she’d caught a “baby bee!” so I was kinda like Say whaaaat? She showed me her new BFF, and behold, it was a hornet! Dead, of course, but still! The only bee sting I’ve ever gotten was when I stepped on a dead bee, and it didn’t tickle. So anyway, I tell her what her little friend really is, and that he is no longer with us, and I get this face:

                                     This is the “all my friends are dead” face

She then walked off and lamented “I FINALLY get an insect and he’s dead! DEAD! I thought he was just passed out!… I’m going to keep him, to show the others.”

Me: “As a warning of what is to come if they don’t keep in line?”

Shelby: “No, like a sculpture. But dead.”

Alrighty then.

It’s hard to do anything in a messy house, especially decorate for a holiday, extra especially for the second most awesome holiday. I’ve even made a deal with Shelby to help: She does everything on her list, and we’ll start construction on our paper mache Fiji mermaids! She’s been (not quite weird-kid-in-the-neighborhood) obsessed with the idea of the Fiji mermaid after seeing one on Oddities on the Science channel (looooove that channel- that bundle is worth the extra $5 a month). She drew a picture of a three-headed specimen and it hangs proudly on our fridge, right next to a picture of her dad in Dublin and the number to a good child therapist. She’ll be making her deluxe version, while I’ll be making the standard PT Barnum gaffe-style mermaid. I can’t wait, I love paper mache. Glad I stocked up on Elmer’s glue during back-to-school sale season!

Enough about dead wasps and phony sideshow staples, on to the list-making!

Mom’s List:

  • Make coffee
  • Blog
  • Pick up kitchen
  • Unload dishwasher
  • Reload dishwasher
  • Scrub sink & fixtures

*Insert 30 minute telephone conversation with my grandparents here*

  • Clean stove
  • Wipe counters
  • Take out trash
  • Take decor off of counter/bar
  • Pick up living room
  • Pledge tables
  • Vacuum
  • Sweep
  • Fold clothes
  • Put away clothes
  • Pick up bathroom
  • Pick up bedroom

My goal today is to get the kitchen and living areas clean enough to decorate, I got (mostly) caught up on laundry yesterday and did all the ironing. Everything else is extra credit work, all gold stars redeemable for pinot grigio. And yes, that was a shameless pat on the back back there.

Shelby’s List:

  • Pick up all scraps of stuff/ stuff cat has adopted and strewn about
  • Pick up everything belonging to her/ stuff she left out
  • Dust tables
  • Dust fireplace
  • Pick up all toys and books in her bedroom (and put them WHERE THEY GO)
  • Help Mom when asked

Ambitious, but it is with ambition that great things are achieved! Or messy houses are made less messy. Something momentous like that.

Have a great day!


Do-It Day Begins

Today is a mix. It’s like someone bought one of the good bags of candy- you know, the one with the name brand (Hershey) chocolate- and one of the crappy bags of candy- ya know, the cheap one with the sorry excuses for cheap candy- and mixed it all together in a decorative bowl. Then, I grabbed a handful, and that’s how this day is. Confusing? Let me count the ways that this day is awesome, and also sucks all of the… well, it just sucks:

  • First day of October! Yea, real fall!
  • It was 64 degrees when I took Shelby to school… 64! That’s practically snow, right?
  • I get to stay home and focus on Do-It Day, which I will explain in a minute
  • I’m still in Dustin’s pajama pants
  • There’s a brand new bag of coffee in the cabinet

That all sounds marvelous, no? Well, that loveliness bulleted above is tempered by the facts that:

  • The reason I’m home is that my Dooney Burke purse was stolen out of my car while parked UNDER MY OWN CARPORT, and with it, my server’s permits
  • Although I called the local permit office for a replacement Friday morning, no one could be bothered to sign the damn thing then, and may not bother to do so today
  • I can’t go to work without my own personal copy, so therefore, no work for me until the permit person can be bothered to sign a slip of paper
  • I had just decided to start saving up all my tips (not used for gas) for something awesome
  • I need gas in my car
  • I’m home, and home is where the laundry is

So, yeah. That’s my ranting and bitching for today. I feel a little better, actually. Cool.

“But what is Do-It Day?!” I’m so very glad you asked! I decided that since we’re going to Texas to visit everyone on the 26th, exactly 26 days from today, and I’m just sick of myself, I’m going to really hit the healthiness full force for the next 3+ weeks. [OMG, I just heard a bunch of crows and the wind! It is SO Fall!] If you’ll remember, last Fall I lost some serious (for me) weight, about 30 pounds. I did it quickly, and with no exercise, but it wasn’t fun. Almost all I ate was raw vegetables. You couldn’t see it, but I scowled as I typed that. I’m not going to go THAT crazy with it, but I do want to try to lose a little somethin’ somethin’ before going home. And Dustin is going to do it with me, which will be fun, right up until 3 days from now when he’s already lost 10 pounds and needs new pants.

Because, let’s be honest, that’s what it’s really about

I’m not setting an end goal, just a goal that I do my best to make healthy choices, and try ever-so-hard not to binge. I’ll also be exercising this go-round, so hopefully the results will be good. I’ll post here what workout type thing I’ll be doing that day (when I am able to blog- who knows, that permit may never get signed and I may inadvertently become a housewife again!). Today I’m going to try out the 5 Minute Brazilian Butt Lift! Sounds feisty and exciting! Not sure what the menu is going to look like- I’ll have to scan my Pinterest a little more before I nail one down for the day. If I’m here tomorrow, I’ll letcha know.

Ugh, a list? A to-do list? I really did forget I’d have to make one. Dustin cleaned the kitchen most gloriously last night, so I suppose it would be the “right” thing to do today…. Balls.

  • Call the permit office
  • Not yell at secretary for the incompetence of her boss(es) and the stupid state laws by which they operate
  • Make coffee
  • Search Pinterest for low fat high, yumminess food choices
  • Laundry
  • Pick up living room*
  • Clean bathroom sink
  • Scrub toilet
  • Wipe down shower
  • Shower myself
  • Xbox?
  • Watch Real Housewives of New Jersey Season Finale part 2 on DVR

Something just got moved to the top of the list! Have a great day everyone!

*In case years from now Shelby is scanning the interwebs  and she comes across this blog, I want to be sure to give her the shout out she deserves- She picked up her toys from last night this morning, and I only had to ask twice! AND, she didn’t complain about it! This might be a record.