Friday, Friday, Friday

[Note to self: When unable to come up with a witty title, repeating day of the week totally works. Got it.]

I am going to go make some coffee. I’ll be right back.

Excellent. Well, f*ckaroo, I left my glasses on top of the coffee pot. Brb.

Ok. Damn. Anyway. Good morning! While I was getting water for the coffee and looking at last night’s supper dishes in the sink, I realized that, Hey, I am a damn good cook, and that last night’s supper was totally awesome. I also realized that I have yet to post a freakin recipe here (other than the Hotdog Surprise one, which, honestly, is not really a real recipe). I further realized that my paper cut from last night still hurts like hell. But what I’m getting at here is that, much like cowbell, what this blog needs is more of is recipes. I mean, part of my thought process when coming up with this thing was that I cook 99% of days, and that daily blogging of  To-Do Lists + Recipe of the Day = Eleventy million dollars in endorsement deals and cookbook sales one day. So, I’m going to write out the recipe for last night’s dinner: Chicken Tikka Masala. (I’m not sure if that is even what this should be called, but that’s what I call it, and I fabricate the facts around here. Illuminati unicorns make the best ninjas!)

Chicken Tikka Masala

Chicken (Contain your astonishment!), cut into thin, short pieces for speedier cooking
1 can of tomato sauce
1/2 can of coconut milk
1 onion
Olive oil
Salt
Pepper
Curry powder

You’ll notice that there are no real measurements. That’s because I like to play things fast and loose in the kitchen. Measuring things is for chumps. And people who are good at measuring.

Sauté the onions in a little oil with a little salt for about a minute, just to get things started. Cover for about another minute. (I guess you don’t have to, but I have a cool Rachel Ray pan with a glass lid, and I like the way the steam rises up when you open it. Like audience applause.) Add the chicken and cook until it’s no longer dangerous. (I’ve mentioned my raw chicken phobia, yes?) Add the tomato sauce, coconut milk and spices to taste. Simmer until it thickens a bit. You can add a slurry of cornstarch and water and simmer if you want the sauce to be thick. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Depends on whether I want to reach all the way into the cabinet and get the cornstarch or not.

Serve over rice, with spinach or lentils on the side. And naan! Indian bread is the best thing since sliced bread, and even better than that. HEB’s whole wheat, freshly made tortillas are also ridiculously fantastic with this, but they don’t have HEB in Louisiana because screw you, Hausewife, we’re Louisiana!

I really do have to scoot. The Husband just called to say hey I love you, it’s cold out here and oh yeah Henry has a vet appointment in 30 minutes. I’m still pants-less with no make-up. I don’t want the vet to go trying to give me a shot, so I gotta pound this thang out and get ready!

  • Make-up!
  • Chug this coffee like there’s wine and jewelry at the bottom!
  • Pants!
  • Take Henry to the vet
  • Wash sheets (I like to do them on the weekends anyway, but Henry apparently had an aneurism  and thought it was cool to lounge in our bed this morning. If there is one thing that does not fly in this house, other than paper airplanes I make, it is bulldogs in the bed.)
  • Load last night’s dishes that I didn’t really mean to tell you about into the dishwasher
  • Pick up the kitchen
  • Pick up bedroom
  • Pick up bathroom
  • Tidy living room (which has all the prestige of picking up, but with less actually getting done)
  • Prepare for late night Xboxing because Dustin is on a 24

Tomorrow I’m going to have a totally epic picture to go along with the post that I’m going to write to make up for not posting on Tuesday. No time to Google Image Search awesomeness! Must stop typing! Why can’t I stop typing! I know I’m making myself later! Okbye.

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